This past week has been chock full of startling revelations in the world of health. Did you hear that new studies revealed heavy cell phone usage does in fact cause cancer? Did you hear that people who sit for more than 6 hours a day are more susceptible to obesity, heart disease, and diabetes? Did you hear about the e.coli outbreak in Germany?
Today I learned that pickles have been linked to esophageal cancer. Really, REALLY? The last thing I’m going to worry about is getting cancer from a pickle the next time I’m shoving a tuna sandwich in my face – I’ll be more concerned about smelling like tuna for the rest of the day. So to all you ex-smokers out there: the next time you bite into a pickle, remember, you could be smoking a cigarette instead.
Well, it’s official. I am diagnosing the United States with a severe case of Hypochondriasis. This isn’t a recent trend, its been going on for years thanks to the media and overly protective parents around the world. And I’m saddened to say that I believe it has had an overwhelming affect on my development. But that’s it. I’ve had enough and so should you.
I had dinner with my parents every night this past week and we could not have a single meal without talking about some sort of disease or illness – all of which will most likely cause our imminent and premature deaths. Monday; high cholesterol, Tuesday; cell phones and brain cancer, Wednesday; my Dad’s shoulder surgery, Thursday; my smoking and drinking habits, Friday; a little recap of everything to sum up the week.
I don’t know what it is about the Baby Boomers and Generation X, but they like to talk about their newest health problem as if its some cool iPhone app they just got for free.
So what is it about my generation – Generation Y – that makes it seem like we just don’t give a shit? We eat whatever we want, we drink excessively, and smoke like chimneys. Our cell phones are attached to our hips and we are not afraid to try the latest trends. And on top of it all, we are fully aware of what we are doing to our bodies in the process – at least our parents could claim some sort of ignorance when indulging in their teenage binges. Is this a type of backlash against social norms, the media, or maybe even our parents?
Maybe it has something to do with age and the naive teenage mindset. Young people are definitely more prone to think, “That would never happen to me at this age.” But with more and more studies released each day about the newest ways of acquiring some deathly illness, one has to wonder, who is this actually helping? I would much rather be completely oblivious to the fact that pickles MIGHT give me esophageal cancer, or that heavy cell phone usage MIGHT cause brain cancer. Because when it comes down to the end of the day, no one is going to stop eating pickles and no one is going to stop using their cell phone. The media is only increasing everyone’s stress levels; thus increasing everyone’s risk of having a stroke (I learned that from the news too).
So the next time you hesitate taking a bite into that delicious pickle accompanying your deli sandwich, or question whether you should answer your ringing cell phone, or think about taking a bite out of your apple before washing it, or consider accepting a day job where you sit for more than 6 hours a day – take a breath and slap some sense into yourself. If I didn’t do half the stuff the media told me NOT to do, I would most likely never leave my house. In which case I would suffer from Agoraphobia. Its a lose, lose situation here people.
I’d love to hear some of the reports you’ve heard about your favorite things and their potential to kill you. I mean, if we’re going to worry, we might as well worry together, right?
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